BuzzFeed has all lists on lock, right now, including dozens of lists of things you didn’t know existed. But what they FAIL to cover are lists of things that don’t exist, including lists you think they would have created but haven’t. Below is my list of the top 14 lists that you could conceivably see BuzzFeed having made already, even though they haven’t (yet):
1) 12 NickToon Characters that Gave Celebrities their First Boner
Did you know Oblina from Aaahh!!! Real Monsters gave Channing Tatum his first ever woody? I don’t not not know it, as this list hasn’t been made yet, but I can’t wait to see if it’s true!
2) 30 Bieber Fans Over the Age of 55
Take a look at ol’ Gus here. That’s pretty interesting! What does he find so charming about the Biebs? Who else could potentially be on this list? BuzzFeed, please tell me!
3) 9 Least Wes Anderson Moments from Wes Anderson Movies
Remember when Edward Norton leaped over that flood in Moonrise Kingdom in almost a superhuman effort? That seemed a bit out of Wes Anderson’s wheel house. There’s probably more like that, right BF (BF? More like BFF! We live for you!)?
4) 18 Photos of Dogs Whose Dick You Can’t Avoid Looking At
Whoa, hopefully we add a few GIFs into here, too, so this list can red-rocket to the top!
5) 69 Extras on “Friends” You Probably Didn’t Notice
The Guy in the Back of the Cafe in that Scene in the One with the Tea Leaves. Bet you didn’t spot him at first, did ya? Guess what – BuzzFeed maybe will in the future when this list reinvigorates our love for the Rachel.
6) 17 Celebrity Dungeons & Dragons Character Names
When Liam Neeson was potentially playing Dungeons & Dragons, he potentially called himself Estogweer, the Tyrannical Dwarf Slayer. What a mouthful, and what a start to a possibly “epic” list ;-).
7) 12 Things You Do When You Get Dumped While Taking a Dump
Your poop cries first.
8) 8 Things You Realize When You Turn the Page in a Book
There are still more words! Much like on THIS list!
9) 2 Reasons a BuzzFeed Tattoo is a Buzztastic Idea
It certainly won’t ever be a “Buzz” kill. That’s a pretty good reason right there. Think of all the possible reasons why getting a BuzzFeed tattoo will make you the cool guy/gal at those socials you attend.
10) 32 Problems Only Rich White Girls Understand
Pilot, Vagina Panic, All Adventurous Women Do, etc. This list practically writes itself!
11) 15 Shocking Signs You’re Actually a Robot
Do you feel worse after showers? You better watch out for what other potential tell tale signs may also be included possibly.
12) 22 Facts That Prove Rain is Real
Watch out, people who found out some terrible news on not-real-list-11 (re: Robots). Sometimes water falls from the sky, that’s pretty good proof. But, BuzzFeed, there are so many other facts that could also be added to this list. Tell me what they are, please!!!!
13) 44 Pictures of Obama Shaking Hands
Oh, that’s a good shake. There are some pretty mediocre ones, too. I bet there will be a few on this list where he’s smiling while shaking hands. The potential, BuzzFeed, can you imagine?!
14) 11 Signs that Someone is Pretending to be Drunk
If the person you’re suspicious of hasn’t lowered their standards to an unacceptable level yet, they may be a fake, much like this list – for now!
There you have it, 14 Lists You Didn’t Know Aren’t Actual BuzzFeed Lists! What a ride, y’all. But don’t be surprised if we have to wipe some of these off the list in the next few days; this is some prime BuzzFeed real estate right here.
As an extra, here’s a BuzzFeed Quiz that doesn’t exist yet(!):
Which Disappointment Are You?
Also, I’m gonna hold a vote.
Whichever list you guys tell me you want to see made most, I will create for you. Tweet your votes at me. Tweet to @twitterapi
Until next time!